The First Year: The Sorcerer's Bone - Part I

Well, you all know my story by now. I defeated Lord Vulvamort when I was just a little kid. How did I stand up to the world's most evil whizzer? Well, I'll tell you. It's because I am Hairy Pooter, and yes, that is a scar in the shape of a penis on my forehead. What other mark would Vulvamort leave there? Vulvas, more than anything else, crave penis, and so that's what I was marked with: the strongest desire of Lord Vulvamort.

I don't remember much of it; I just remember a flash of green light and some high-pitched screaming. I dream about it every so often, but I don't know what it means really. I just know what I have been told by the Whizzers at Hogwanking. My parents died fighting Vulvamort; I survived and send Vulvamort into the recesses of darkness.

Welcome!

Yes, this is no joke. I will explore the exploits of Hairy Pooter and his friends at Hogwanking School of Sexual Whizzing. Stay tuned ...